Consent is the fundamental building block of our community, and an essential ingredient for any sex positive event. Our Consent Policy outlines what we expect from you, and what you can expect if you report a consent violation to Hacienda.

Definitions

Consent

  • An agreement between participants to engage in a specific activity.

  • Confirmation that everyone involved in an activity is able to give their OK, understands what's going on, and consciously and willingly chooses to engage in that activity throughout the activity..

Consent Violation

  • When someone crosses another person's boundaries.

  • When an action was not agreed to in advance or occurred after consent was withdrawn.

  • Violations may occur accidentally or intentionally, with or without malice.

Consent Policy

It is your responsibility to practice consent – to ask before touching someone, to pay attention to their body language, to check-in. It is also your responsibility to decide whether or not to give permission to someone when they ask you to do something. If you are unsure, it's best to err on the side of caution and say "no"—firmly and clearly. You can always change your mind later.

At our events, we require everyone to obey the following rules:

  1. Don't touch without verbal permission.

  2. Negotiate the scope of your activities.

    • Have a conversation about what you're going to do before you begin to play. Whether you are playing with one person or a group, find out what everyone's boundaries are and make sure you understand their limits.

    • State your own boundaries clearly, and if necessary, negotiate a "safe word".

    • Relying on non-verbal communication can lead to misunderstandings and consent violations.
      Consider phrases such as: I'd like to do _________, would you like that?

  3. Make sure, to the best of your ability, that your partners can give valid consent.

    • Don't proceed if you have doubts about someone's ability to make decisions they will feel good about later. If your partner hesitates, acts unsure, or appears to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, stop and wait until they are in a more stable frame of mind.

  4. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.​

    • You can always ask your partner to stop at any time, or ask them to do something else instead. Just because you agreed to do something earlier doesn't mean you have to do it now.

    • During play, check in regularly to make sure your partner is content with what's happening. If they change their mind or want to stop, respond gracefully and comply right away.

Education & Safety

Hacienda takes several proactive measures to educate attendees about our consent policy.

The rules are clearly stated in event invitations and attendees are required to accept them before purchasing a ticket.

First time guests of play parties must attend a mandatory orientation session.

Guests are reminded of the event rules and consent policy at the door.

Easily identifiable Guardians are present and available throughout the party.

Making a Report

If you experience a consent violation at a Hacienda event and would like to report it:

  1. Tell a guardian at the event or complete this form .
    We ask you make your report within one week of the incident so timely action can be taken.

  2. A member of the Hacienda Consent team will contact all parties to obtain accounts of the incident.

    • We can only investigate reports made directly by the person who experienced the consent violation, as second hand accounts tend to be less reliable.

    • In order for Hacienda to facilitate clear communication between parties and reach a conclusion, we cannot guarantee anonymity.

  3. Outcomes

    • After a report is made, we will speak to both parties. We may offer feedback and resources to help the guest understand why their behavior wasn't aligned with Hacienda's Consent Policy. After evaluating the situation, if we find the member/guest to be a safe person to invite back into the space, they will be invited back to Hacienda with a verbal warning. If we don't believe the person to be a safe member/guest of Hacienda, we will institute a temporary or permanent ban.

    • Members who bring guests that violate consent will also have their ability to refer members, bring guests, and be part of Hacienda questioned and evaluated.

Disclaimer: Hacienda will make every reasonable effort to enforce this policy, but Hacienda cannot guarantee its ability to do so. Each situation is distinct and will be reviewed on a case by case basis. All participants and attendees shall retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.